IMG_3249

Good Games. Bad Games. Board Games. Video Games. And stuff.

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urbanIt’s not enough to have a good idea. It’s not even enough to have a good idea that works. When  making a game, you must reach a certain amount of perfection for it to even be playable. I found this out the hard way in my first attempt at making a board game a few months ago. I succeeded in making the game I wanted to make, but I failed in making that game fun.

Luckily, this has given me a certain amount of perspective as to what goes into making a game fun. It is almost inspiring how one failure can actually lead to a greater knowledge than if I had succeeded completely on my first attempt. Any success would have been completely accidental and also completely useless.

Part of the problem with loving both board games and video games is it is hard to keep the correct perspective on how exactly these different mediums require different mechanics to be fun. The surface differences are obvious. You can directly interact with the game world in video games better. They are also more expansive and require the player to rely less on his imagination — often creating linear, story-based game play and win conditions entirely impossible in a board game. Board games are more tactile, more social, and require a certain baseline of strategy that is not necessary in all video games (not that some video games don’t have more strategy than board games — strategy just isn’t a huge prerequisite in video games).

These difference are unavoidable, so there is no need to consider them in this discussion other than to mention them and throw them away completely.

The important difference between board games and video games is the ability to take care of tedious actions. Video games can keep track of an infinite amount of information for you and display this information in a way where you avoid the tedium of constantly having to reference different game trackers. Game trackers, of course, are any changing number, ability, or penalty that you need to keep track of during the game (thus “game” and “trackers”). This is not a worry for video games, and I forgot that completely when designing my first game — Urban Expansion.

I should have realized this would be an issue during the game testing. After each round, we had to write down several numbers: the game score (which also doubled as the money received at the end of each round), money off of buying new stuff, and penalties for money received at the end of the round. We would go person-by-person and ask them what changes occurred to each of their numbers. Then we would go person by person and subtract their penalties from their game scores and hand out the appropriate money.

If you think reading a few sentences about it is tedious, you should try actually playing the game (except you can’t, and you shouldn’t). The time between each round took almost as much time as the rounds themselves, and the game drug for that reason. I succeeded in making the game part of the game fun and balanced and competitive. But keeping track of everything going on in the game was too much.

Add into this some other small mistakes, and it was a complete failure. I made the text on all the cards in the game too small ( you had to hold them up to your face to read it). I made everything too textual when board games are usually a visual medium. Those mistakes, combined with the game tracking mistake, and it wasn’t any fun at all. In fact, the game was actually more fun when I was play testing it and writing down all the information on a pad of paper after each round. When I added a game board to track the information, it actually became less fun. And here, I thought that would fix some of the issues!

IMG_3242On my second attempt at a game, Flatworld Shipping, I initially made the (easily correctable) mistake of taking the Monopoly approach to winning a game. If you somehow aren’t familiar, players lose in Monopoly by going completely bankrupt in the game — at which point, they are out of the game completely. Which means the winner is the one player who never went bankrupt and thus holds the entire market share of the fictional business world. In general, this is a bad game mechanic that even Monopoly barely pulls off.

The problem with this mechanic comes when playing with people who aren’t idiots. It’s completely possible to not be an idiot and lose quickly in the game. Monopoly is a game of chance, so a string of bad luck can wreck even the smartest player’s ability to win. But in most cases, if the people playing are smart, they know how to hold on in the game and slowly, slowly die. They can end the game earlier by taking bigger risks designed to basically suicide themselves, but the most stubborn of players will fade away slowly.

Monopoly-Glass-board-games-17741303-640-475A few months ago, my wife and I were visiting some friends in Boston, and we played some Monopoly. The game pretty much played out where I lucked into a bigger initial foothold on the board, so I controlled where all monopolies would go. As my wife and friends started to lose money against me, I would keep them in the game by giving them huge amounts of money for some of the properties they wanted.

In short, they were selling their own properties to me in order to pay debts they owed to me. This cycle kept repeating itself for the longest time until they went bankrupt one by one. It was both a depressing example of how the world kind of works and a really boring game. That’s coming from the guy who won.

risk_cropped_smallThe problem with domination-style games like Monopoly and Risk is the game is often over before the game is technically over. Some people playing the game are eliminated and have to sit around for a long time waiting for the game to end. Other people have almost no chance of winning, but often have to play out the game anyway. I’m not sure if it is technically a balancing issue, but both those games provide greater and greater rewards the better a player does. It creates a snowball effect of in-game success.

In Risk, this often balances out in games of three or more players because everyone will gang up on the player who starts to pull away too much, but at some point in the game, there will be two players left, and the snowball effect will come into play. At least it’s less drawn out in a game like Risk over a game like Monopoly.

The best games allow everyone who has employed a good strategy to be in the game until the end. It punishes players for not playing well, but not by giving an exponential advantage to any player who starts the game quickly. It punishes players for not playing well by refusing to employ rubber-banding effects.

largeAnyone who has played Mario Kart should know how awful that is. A game uses rubber-banding when it has some mechanic that punishes the best players for being good and rewards the worst players for being bad. It’s a version of handicapping that adjusts based on in-game performance.

I’ve found that the best designed games allow any player with a good strategy to stay in the game until the end. Games that reward a game-long strategy, so a player who thinks short term won’t gain the advantage too soon and pull well out of reach. And a player who constantly makes bad decisions can’t win based on some random action that has nothing to do with the players’ abilities.

This is why so many games we play have similar mechanics and win conditions. Certain things just work from a design perspective. In board games especially, games rely on a certain set of guidelines and mechanics. Picking up cards. Some variation on victory points (almost every game has it, whether you realize it’s a victory point or not). Bidding on stuff. Some form of payment for in-game actions. Most games rely on standard, unavoidable stuff because they help facilitate the parts of the game that are unique.

The next you are playing a game that seems all too formulaic, try to imagine if those formulaic parts could have been done in a different way that also works equally as well. Try to isolate the parts of the game that you haven’t seen in other games — or that are at least combinations of mechanics you haven’t seen in other games. In most cases, we don’t want to know how the sausage is made, but in games, it creates a higher appreciation for a seemingly simple thing.

All that, and I haven’t even talked about the pricing concerns that go into creating a game, which is an even worse layer of Hell.

Spacefunmars has a photo-blog about his pets. He designs the world’s best ever board games. He lives in Buffalo and loves chocolate milk. All he wants is to love and be loved. You can find him on twitter @spacefunmars.

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“I’m Getting Too Old for This Shit” – A Look at Skyrim

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Eye of the Beholder

Skyrim would have been my perfect game just three years ago. It is a huge, beautiful game with near-endless possibilities (for a videogame). I can customize my character to be any nerd-fantasy I want. Skyrim is the game I always wished videogames would become when I was playing the Eye of the Beholder games on my 486 computer as a child. That series featured the same kind of gigantic world Skyrim has – only it was too early for its time. The world was just a static image that changed every time the player moved (although the enemies WERE animated, so that’s something). The game didn’t feature any towns or non-playable characters to speak of. Eye of the Beholder was a huge world that had no inhabitants.

Now I have Skyrim, which does everything I want a game to do. It is a monstrous-sized world filled with life and a trillion quests. Only I have a big problem with the game. I have been waiting for a game like Skyrim all my life, and now that it is here, I can’t play it. I got too old.

This is not a problem with the game itself – it is a problem with time. I live a life now where I have too many responsibilities to put any time into Skyrim. Rarely do I have the time to sit down with a videogame for four or more hours and really sink my teeth into it. Unfortunately, that is exactly what I would have to do to get anything out of Skyrim. Getting anything done in this world takes a lot of time. There are endless distractions – and I am very ADD.

It took me several weeks to complete the first main quest in this game, and I have not progressed much beyond that. I have owned this game for two months now, and it is clear I am not getting anywhere in it. It is clear that I will probably never get anywhere in it. Life is coming at me quicker and quicker now. I am closing on my first house in April. I am getting married in June. I am probably less than two years away from having a kid. If I don’t have time for Skyrim now when I am living a relatively lazy life in an apartment, how will I ever have time for it?

Bethesda (the company who made Skyrim) likes to pretend games like Skyrim and Fallout are marketed towards my late 20′s/early 30′s age group, but that cannot be true. I have serious reservations about anyone who is my age and actually has time to play a videogame like Skyrim. This is a game I would have eaten alive in my early-to-mid 20′s before I gave a fuck about anything like “responsibilities.”

I have found myself playing games that can be handled in short bursts instead. A level or two of Mario 3D Land here. A game or two of NBA 2K12 there. Maybe a few Grand Prix Mario Kart 7 races. These are games that can be sneaked into the little parts of my life where I have time to play videogames. Somehow as I’ve gotten older, I have acquired the same videogame taste I had as a seven-year-old.

Maybe it is just a cycle, and I will some day get back to playing these huge, in-depth games again. Maybe when I retire. Perhaps Skyrim is targeted at videogaming seventy-year-olds who have nothing but free time?

Spacefunmars writes about basketball at I GO HARD NOW. He also has a photo-blog about his pets. He lives in Buffalo and loves chocolate milk. All he wants is to love and be loved. You can find him on twitter @spacefunmars.

fun

A Guide to Fun Seduction

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(Image property of Fun Seduction)

America is a weird place. Anyone could be your next door neighbor. Some asshole who hits you up for money to cut down a tree less than a week after you bought your house. A serial killer. Or Fun Seduction, a woman who lives in the Greater Washington D.C. area and runs my favorite blog ever. I would tell you to leave this blog right now and go read that one, but it mysteriously disappeared… again.

As a secondary option, you could always search “funseduction” (make sure it’s one word) in Google and wade through the reblogged Tumblr posts and cached images (all of her and pornographic in nature). You can find everything she ever posted that way, but it’s time consuming, and I am sure you are skeptical as to whether it is worth your time or not. You don’t even know what Fun Seduction is all about! Don’t you worry, I am here to introduce you to the twisted world of a stay at home mom who just wanted to be loved. Physically.

The blog began somewhere around a year after Fun Seduction started sleeping with her Boy Toy (her words). Boy Toy was her husband’s work friend. You see, Fun Seduction and hubby were swingers who had one regular couple they swapped with, but that wasn’t enough for hubby. He, apparently, wanted to watch her sleep with his friend, who apparently, had a big black cock (something Fun Seduction ceaselessly reminded her audience of this). Hubby was something called a “cuckold,” which you should look up if you are unfamiliar with the term.

Normally, I would say it is completely unimportant that Fun Seduction’s Boy Toy is a black man, but this was a point that bordered on obsession in her blog. Her blog was essentially a temple to big black cock, and it toed the line of only looking at black men as objects. Objects with large penises, so it seems. She would post endless pornographic photographs and cartoons about women who were “Queen of Spades” — white, married women who sleep with black guys, but it’s a term that sort of implies a level of ownership that is beyond me to dissect here. (Check out the third definition at Urban Dictionary)

Things started relatively innocent in regards to this relationship. The first year or so, Fun Seduction continuously insisted that hubby and Boy Toy were equal lovers. Hubby based on knowledge of what gets her going, and Boy Toy in terms of sheer size. She claimed she knew having her Boy Toy was a temporary thing, and she would always end up with her husband alone some day. During this time, hubby and Boy Toy had an awkward threesome with her that never happens again. Boy Toy shared her with some of his friends. Fun Seduction slept with some other randoms she picked up.

Did I mention she refused to have sex with anyone wearing a condom? Because that’s a fun tidbit.

Where the blog really started to hit its stride was when she became pregnant with her Boy Toy’s baby. This was a tense time where Boy Toy wouldn’t let hubby have sex with Fun Seduction because… I don’t know. Misconceptions about what sexual intercourse during pregnancy does to a baby? I can’t imagine anything more insulting than one of my friends knocking up my wife then not allowing me to have sex with her, but that’s what happened in Fun Seduction’s household. Boy Toy became possessive over her, and it nearly ripped their happy family apart.

From that point on, it became a downward spiral of Fun Seduction pretty clearly falling in love with Boy Toy and out of love with hubby, but not even noticing it. She talked less about how great of a lover hubby was — even with his averaged sized penis — and more about how amazing Boy Toy was. She stopped letting hubby have vaginal intercourse altogether because neither of them felt it anymore, so he was relegated to anal-only. Boy Toy got both, which begs to question at what point anal won’t be an option for hubby anymore either.

And then there were two more pregnancies — both with Boy Toy as the father. Her Question and Answer segments were always the best part of the blog because it allowed people a direct line into her crazy, little world. They could ask things like, “Are you ever going to have another baby with your husband again?” And she would answer something like, “I don’t see how that could happen since he doesn’t have sex with my vagina anymore!”

She couldn’t even put up with having unsatisfying vaginal intercourse with him for the sake of producing a baby. To me, that was the true sign of falling out of love. Or at least that something is terribly wrong with her — more so than even what is apparent on the surface. She cared more about enjoying the sex that would lead to pregnancy than carrying the baby of the man she claimed to solely love. That’s how Boy Toy babies came to out-number hubby babies — all living in the same household.

Unfortunately, that is where the story ends because she deleted all her accounts for a second time. The first time was in Fall of 2012, and then she reactivated them again with very little explanation. I hope they mysteriously come back again like they never left in the first place. Last time, I thought something terrible happened to her, but I get the idea she was merely laying low for a while. This time, I hope it is the same.

I personally think her marriage is going to come crashing down one day. Or hubby kills them both. Or hubby kills them both and Boy Toy’s kids. Or kills everyone. However this is going to end, I want front row seats into her world when it happens. So I guess no matter how many people he kills, she has to survive in the end. Preferably with nothing. Oh, and I guess the kids should live, too.

Spacefunmars writes about basketball at I GO HARD NOW. He also has a photo-blog about his pets. He lives in Buffalo and loves chocolate milk. All he wants is to love and be loved. You can find him on twitter @spacefunmars.